I have a very serious matter to consider here. Since it's almost Christmas (sorry, that robin's out there again. Honestly.) I have to consider the suspicious addictiveness of Cadbury's chocolate buttons. (Especially the giant ones.)
Why are they so irresistable? Surely we need an investigative journalist to look into this. They must be putting something naughty in them.
It's also highly important you eat them the right way.
For me it has to be two at a time, with at least one curved edge facing the other button. That way, when you bite there is an irresitable crack of thin chocolate planes fracturing against each other in the mouth.
Forget your 70% cocoa solids rubbish. Ditch your oozing-with-milk Swiss confectioners' frippery. Dispose of anything that has had sight of a 'chocolatier'.
Give me Cadbury's buttons every time.
Normal service will be restored tomorrow.