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Dear God, about bananas...

Bananas, caught in the act
Dear God,

I wouldn't trouble you as a rule, but I wanted a word about something I don't understand. It's bananas. I don't mean 'it's bananas' in the sense of 'it is lunacy', I am referring to bananas in the sense of fruit. You know, the bendy yellow things.

I like bananas very much, but they have to be just right. Too green and they are like eating medicated soap. Too ripe and they become disgustingly gooey, with the texture of sick. (I'm sorry, but this is true, and presumably sick is one of yours too.)

So, fair enough, you have to catch them when they are just right, with a tinge of green but before those black spots arrive. But here's the thing. They only seem to spend approximately 37 minutes in this state. For ages and ages they sit in the bowl looking hard and green, then you turn your back to make a cup of coffee and when you turn round they've gone black. It's not good enough. I'm not asking for miracles (though presumably these could be provided on request), just bananas that stay edible for a few days at a time. Is it too much to ask? I can keep apples in the fruit bowl for weeks, and at worst they get a little wrinkly, but they are still edible. Bananas, by contrast, are downright sneaky. So just tell me... why?

Yours sincerely,
Brian Clegg

P.S. If this one proves too easy, please explain the offside rule.


  1. I have exactly that same problem with bananas! In the end my boyfriend usually ends up eating them once they've gone brown, because I wait until they're less green, forget about them, and miss the window - every time we buy them.

  2. It's the ethylene wot done it, gov.

    As in any good whodunnit you need to go back and see who your bananas were sitting next to in the fruit bowl; you may find yours overdosed on the ethylene given off by a neighbourly apple or worse a passing tomato.

    Bananas don't like the cold either so could they have got very cold one night after dark?

  3. At last -- a solution!

  4. Looks like the man from Del Monte, he come up with a plan:


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